Newfoundland Ghost Story

This happened in a little town, Norris Arm, in Newfoundland, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s absolutely true.

This fellow was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a terrible rainstorm, and no cars were on the road. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, a car came toward him and stopped.

Without thinking, he got in the car and closed the door and only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel!

The car started to move very slowly. He looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Petrified, he started to pray, begging for his life. Just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the steering wheel.

The fellow, now paralyzed in terror, watched as the hand appeared every time the car was approaching a curve. Finally, although terrified, he managed to open the door and jump out of the spooky car.

Without looking back, he ran through the storm all the way to the nearest town. Soaking wet; exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visibly shaken man, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots of Screech. Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went through with the spooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that kept appearing.

Everyone listened in silence and became frightened, hairs standing on end when they realized the fellow was telling the truth.

About half an hour later two guys walked into the same bar and one said to the other, ‘Lard Thundern Jasus, me son, there’s the arsehole who got into the car while we were pushing it!’

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do they’re own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Newfoundlanders, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks, a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer they concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead!

Kentucky Fried Chicken has just announced it will be marketing a new family sized bucket of chicken to help finance the proposed Liberal/NDP/Bloc coalition government in Ottawa.

The new bucket will contain only left wings and assholes.

I caught this monster on a YUM DINGER Pearl Silver Flake.

Let me tell ya the story…

It was a ruff day, no one on the pond (I counted 8 people fishing) had caught much, only seen 2 small bass all day. So I took the trusty DINGER and tried a color I just bought Pearl Silver Flake, and started walking around the pond with one small splitshot about 6 inches above the dinger. Of course being a YUM DINGER it was the ultimate weedless lure i have. I started getting little hits from the 6 inch bass right away. But nothing substantial. Then I walked over to some heavy heavy weed, algae and wood cover and figured 3 or 4 casts I’d loose my hook.

I tosesed it out to the open water beyond the weeds very lightly a few times. All of a sudden I felf the unmistakeable shock strike ( the one where a preying bass hits the prey from the side flat out to stun them), and I got ready, I let my yum drop all the way slowly with as little movement as possible and reeled in the slack as much as I could without making more than the tinest of twitches in the YUM, sure enough about 6 secs later my 9 foot rod slams down instanly!!!

HES GOT SUPPER!
HE RUNS!

I GOT ADRENALINE!!!!
I HAMMER HIM !!!!

Whoomp there he is!!!!!!!

The rod buckles!
I wOOt!
It buckles alot more!

The BASS dives to oblivion in a desperate attempt to get to a something to tear my hook out. I thought oh #@$% hes going down to a log to do the usual pop this hook out thing. So I jam the end of the rod in my size 24 (canucks will get that one) belly and wrench the rod up with all my might, BOY could he fight I thought, he tugged back hard and tried to run deeper.

SORRY!
Not Today, Today is,
MY DAY!!!!

Thanks to Berkley for the 12lb test Trilene Ironsilk as I crank the drag up and force his nose up instead of down, he responds and runs for the surface, I think what have I done, if he jumps hes gone! He rips the crap outta the surface of the water smashing and thrashing like a good bass should. BUT, no jumps

AMEN BRUDDA!

I think to myself

The New Berkley Trilene Ironsilk 12lb, The new YUM DINGER Pearl Silver Flake, The New 9 foot Diawa Firewolf Rod, there all hlding out!!!!!!

I holler to RED “GET OVER HERE I NEED THE CAMERA ITS #@$%@ MONSTER”

I finish the battle with a gentle tug up to the shoreline and approach him nice and slow to not spook him and have to fight him more and tire him out more.(Tis been a valiant battle worthy of chunky old bass and old smelly fisherman). I grab him by the jaw and viola MY personal best trophy 8lb largemouth bass.
I didnt measure him unfortunatley cause I was worried about stressing him, we had not changed the batteries in the cam and that took a good 30 secs, way to long in my books, and then 20 secs for pics. I was concerned at this point. funniest part is it woulda took 5 secs to do as the ruler is in the scales handle, DOH, oh well who cares I loved it!!!!!

I ran him back to the water and gentley put him in about 4 inches of water, he kinda sat there for about 3 secs, then slowly headed for the 12 inch area, soon as he hit it FLASH he was a like a mean bulldog again and gone right back into the weedbeds.

I bet he said to himself as he was swimming away, oh well I got his lure the last 50 times, I’m sure i’ll get it the next 50, cant win em all.

I think to myself I AM FISHING GOD!

I’ve caught some pretty fiesty fish in my day and some monster fiesty carp, atlantic slamon in whitewater rivers in newfoundland. Cod in the Atlanitc ocean, etc… But boy, did that Largie put on a show for me! No big jumps which is fine by me cause he’d just throw the hook, but more than once he ripped the ponds surface apart with his head, and when he dove he dove with the power and determination of a WW2 Dive Bomber.

My only regret (which isnt a regret really cause maybe I’ll hit him again next yr when hes 8 1/2 to 9 pounds), is I didn’t keep it, cause it woulda been a awesome wall mount.
Cybrspin

Did you ever stop to wonder how an apparent 5% of the users who use up an apparent 33% of the available internal network bandwidth didn’t apparently pay enough for their usage to justify Bell upgrading its network?

Did you ever stop to wonder how it came to be that Bell’s internal network congestion problem was so critical it didn’t need to inform wholesalers, instead deciding to throttle them?

Did you ever stop to wonder how LITTLE Bell must be making on the network (both wholesale and Sympatico retail) to justify Bell spokesman Mirko Bibic’s comment that, “Bandwidth just doesn’t fall from the sky”?

I have.

Below are general costs (Re. 1, 2, & 3) of one wholesaler, TekSavvy, neatly compiled and then broken down to reflect what Bell is making both retail and wholesale.

Table 1: TekSavvy GAS (Gateway Access) Deliver Costs. ISPs pay the following to Bell to deliver a DSL connection (NOT internet costs, but internal network costs paid to Bell)
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