My wife who is blonde came running up to me in the driveway the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, “Honey, I have some really great news for you!”
I [...]

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A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect loaded Lexus and walked over to inspect it closer. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed.
Sure enough, [...]

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This is a transcript of a radio conversation between a US navel ship and the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
Canadians: “Please divert your course by 15 degrees south to avoid a collision”.
Americans: “Recommend that you divert your course by 15 degrees north to avoid a collision”
Canadians: “Negative. You have to [...]

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A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night.
She looked at her husband and said, “Honey, do you remember this?”
He looked up at her and said, “Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the [...]

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A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two retired and fell asleep quickly…he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the [...]

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A woman goes into a dentist’s office, and after her examination, the dentist says, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill that tooth.
Horrified, the woman replies, Oh, no! I’d rather have a baby.
To which the dentist replies, Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair.
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