Oprah’s Mansion
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Huge Heffner’s Play Boy Mansion
Tigers Wood’s Mansion

Newfoundland Ghost Story

This happened in a little town, Norris Arm, in Newfoundland, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s absolutely true.

This fellow was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a terrible rainstorm, and no cars were on the road. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, a car came toward him and stopped.

Without thinking, he got in the car and closed the door and only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel!

The car started to move very slowly. He looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Petrified, he started to pray, begging for his life. Just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the steering wheel.

The fellow, now paralyzed in terror, watched as the hand appeared every time the car was approaching a curve. Finally, although terrified, he managed to open the door and jump out of the spooky car.

Without looking back, he ran through the storm all the way to the nearest town. Soaking wet; exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visibly shaken man, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots of Screech. Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went through with the spooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that kept appearing.

Everyone listened in silence and became frightened, hairs standing on end when they realized the fellow was telling the truth.

About half an hour later two guys walked into the same bar and one said to the other, ‘Lard Thundern Jasus, me son, there’s the arsehole who got into the car while we were pushing it!’

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said “Hang on, I have an idea.”

He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said, “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money at all!”

Murphy replied, “Don’t worry – just follow me.”

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said, “Now you’ve lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money!”

Murphy replied with a smile, “Don’t worry, I have a plan , Cheers!”

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, “OK, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.”

The barman noticed  them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said, “Murphy – I don’t think I can do any more of this. I’m drunk and me knees are killing me!”

Murphy replies, “How do you think I feel? I can’t even remember which pub I lost the sausage in.”

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the “apex predator”, can still fall victim to implemented ‘team work’ strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and “survival of the pack mentality” bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

THE COWBOY AND THE GENIE

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst.  He’s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.  He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.  He opens it and out pops a genie.  But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There’s a calculator in her pocketbook.  She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. “Well cowboy, says the genie. You know how I work. You have three wishes.”

‘I’m not falling for this,” said the cowboy.  ’I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie.”

“What do you have to lose?  You’ve got no transportation and it looks like you’re a goner anyway!”

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right. ”OK!  I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.” POOF!  The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.  And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

“OK, cowpoke, what’s your second wish.”

“My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.” POOF!  The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with gold coins and precious gems.

“OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!”

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says, “I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.’

POOF!  He is turned into a tampon.

*Moral of the story:*
*If the government offers to help you, there’s going to be a string attached.

A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment.

As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven. Others though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit.

But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.

Watching Satan do this several times, the fellow’s curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing.

“Excuse me, Mr. Prince of Darkness,” he said. “I’m waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn’t help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the others?”

“Ah, those,” Satan said with a groan.  ”They’re all from Ontario …
They’re still too wet to burn.”