Candy cigarettes

Plastic Army Men

Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

Chief Pontiac Signs

P.F. Fliers

Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles

Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes

TV Test patterns

Metal ice cubes trays with levers

Roller-skate keys

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

Telephone numbers with a word prefix (RAymond 4-601). Party lines

Table

Wall

Howdy Dowdy

45 RPM records

45 rpm spindles

Green Stamps

Beanie and Cecil

Cork pop guns

Marlin Perkins of Wild Kingdom

Studebakers

Drive in Movies aka Passion Pits

Drive in restaurants

Car Hops

Tinkertoys

Erector Sets

Lincoln Logs

Washtub wringers

Topo Gigio

The Fuller Brush Man

Reel-To-Reel tape recorders

5 cent stamps

Sky King and Penny

Old Yeller

15 cent McDonald hamburgers

Jiffy Pop popcorn

5 cent packs of baseball cards

Penny candy

25 cent a gallon gasoline

Gum wrapper chains

5 cent Cokes

Speedy Alka-Seltzer created in 1951

Brownie camera

Flash bulbs

Cigarettes for Christmas

Burma Shave signs

Chef Boy-ar-dee Make your own pizza

Fire escape tubes

Aluminum Christmas Trees

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule:  When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house or shop is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a cell that takes pictures these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Oprah’s Mansion
John Travolta’s Mansion
J-Lo and Mark Anthony’s Mansion
Huge Heffner’s Play Boy Mansion
Tigers Wood’s Mansion